Sydney – Shock/Horror/Naked Woman Platter Scandal!

Arise, ye sex-starvelings of the Uptight Oppressed! Hasten ye to your destined duty, telling other people how much fun they can or cannot have, regardless of the fact it’s none of yer damned business!

A Sydney bar has been slammed for using nearly naked women as fruit platters at a re-launch party on Wednesday night.

Indeed, and so it should be, slammed, that is, if the poor lasses were forced to be fruit platters.


But that appears not to have been the case.

Models at the Cruise Bar party in Circular Quay were hired to lie on tables covered in edible fruit and also hand feed guests.

So they were hired? I somehow think the deal was on the clear understanding that their duties would be to stretch out, get covered on food, not too heavy to be uncomfortable, and to allow guests to enjoy yummy victuals chosen from atop a yummy honey?

No coercion involved!


Heck, my fave Sunday breakfast delight would be enhanced no end by adapting this idea to Jakarta conditions- I usually dine out front, but such ultra-yummy enhancement would require eating indoors to avoid serious neighbour-panic!




I suppose, on reflection, the Uptight Depressed would be a better term to describe the miserable gas-bag whiners exemplified, in this kerfuffle, by some shrill named Melinda Tankard-Reist ( described as a ‘Women’s Advocate‘ – what does that mean in terms of a real job?) who has asked people to take a stand against the bar for the action she said objectified women.




A quick background check reveals that Melinda of the Sunny Smile was the co-founder of something calling itself Collective Shout for a World Free of Sexploitation….


….and I somehow doubt that the SHOUT referred to was that nice Aussie synonym for ’round,’ as in “It’s my shout!”



“It is part of the ongoing objectification of women to use them as serving trays and just part of the buffet,’ Ms Tankard-Reist told Daily Mail Australia. “It suggests they are part of the buffet really – saying ‘help yourself to the women’s bodies.’”

Well, no, it doesn’t, except to a youngish fogey like Mel. I’m sure the girls were unmolested, and would have slapped any galah who tried it on. Aussie girls don’t mess about. And those models probably went home with hefty wads of cash in their purses.

What’s the big deal?



This whole infantile fuss reminds me of how sticky-beak twits deprived numerous dwarves of a handy source of income by getting dwarf-throwing contests banned..


Oh, and a final question, who are the sour-puss Sydneysiders referred to in this odd sentence?

Punters have threatened to boycott the bar for objectifying women.