Surga Dunia? Jakarta, Pasti!


Surga dunia! Heaven on Earth!

That’s oft been my reply when Indonesians ask me how come I’ve stayed in Jakarta for so many years.

If your previous location was somewhere in one of those chilly countries that border the shores of the North Atlantic, you’d be off yer rocker not to be happy here in this mostly hot and sunny city..

i love jkt

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Even in the current rainy season, few days pass without an hour or two of sunshine when one can sit out front and bask with a book.

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warteg 

A warteg – hard to spend more than two bucks, unless your appetite is gargantuan! 

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Eating is cheap if you’re not a stuck-up.

Most people are friendly, and many of them are a delight to behold!

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Miss inod13

Miss Indonesia candidates a year or two ago, but there are millions more just as cute!

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What’s not to like?

At once a dozen hands will go up, a chorus of ‘The Traffic,’ and yes, that is a major minus, but if you’re retired from serious toil, it is not an insurmoutable burden, especially if you have the sense not to take taxis. Public transport is just as fast as cabs, and a tenth of the price! 

But now I read that Governor Ahok has hi-jacked my term of praise to pin-point just one small corner of the capital city he runs – NB, I mean he runs the city, not the specific place he mentioned! –  the Hotel Alexis’ 7th Floor, where there’s an institution hitherto unknown to yours truly, the Bath House Spa.

  • I used Google Translate to interpret the article in Okezone.com, with hilarious results, and offer you some choice extracts.

..In the Hotel Alexis there’s the 7th floor… In the Alexis it is not Heaven at Mother’s feet, but Heaven on the 7th Floor,” Ahok said, at City Hall, Jakarta, Tuesday (16/02/2016)    http://news.okezone.com/read/2016/02/16/338/1313623/ahok-lantai-7-alexis-surga-dunia.

I am sure Ahok was talking tongue in cheek, for his outlook on certain matters has in the past indicated a very prudish mindset, as when he had a hissy fit about a teen bikini party in another hotel 

“No, they can’t hold a bikini party. They could get arrested. There’s a regulation governing that. You can wear bikini at Ancol [beach], as you swim….”

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  • ahok

I’ve generally had nothing but praise for the Guv, but he does have a Victorian streak!

However, let’s look at the report.

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Sex workers in the Hotel Alexis, said Ahok, originate from various countries. However, such imported strumpets are smart about covering their identity.

Strumpets!

What a splendidly old-fashioned word! But the man’s no doubt correct.

What amazes me though is why – when Indonesian women must rank as among the loveliest on Earth (don’t know about Heaven!) there’s any perceived need to import foreign chicks.

Yet the grass is always greener, so I guess local customers regard Slavonic gals as agreeably exotic! 

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I met a Russian lady in the late lamented Tanamur disco once.Let’s Re-Open TANAMUR, She was very charming, and appreciated my attempts to converse in her language.

‘Morozhenye,’ I said. ‘Ice Cream!’  

She laughed out loud, perhaps imagining I wanted her to engage in some outlandish use of that substance.

Alas, apart from ‘hello’ and ‘thanks,’ that’s about the limit of my Russian vocab. So we got no further than that!

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The Okezone writer has a much more appealing range of vocabulary, or at least that’s how Google renders his words.

Bath House Spa. Here are provided various facilities to ease tensions on the sidelines…

That’s in the Alexis, it seems –  but all over Jakarta…

…undeniably, during this time, many businesses satisfying lust are cloaked in various enterprises, such as massage parlors, karaoke parlors and nightclubs….with a varied fare, from hundreds of thousands to millions of rupiah.

As UK bus conductors used to shout, ‘FARES PLEASE!’

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