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  • ross1948 08:25 on August 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: humour,   

    To Celebrate Our Million – Comical Quotes To Brighten Your Sunday Breakfast! 


    My thanks to JazPen, a frequent commenter, for asking which posts since we re-started RRA were the most popular. I ran a check and was surprised I’d forgotten all about this one, published July 6th 2011. It got more than 2500 views.

    ———————-

    Laughter

     

    ===========

    As I read through it, already cheerful due to our million hits achievement last night this morning –https://rossrightangle.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/one-million-rra-readers-hallelujah/   – I laughed aloud more than once, so maybe our newer readers will enjoy the quotes too!

     Sometimes people say this blog is too serious, so, having received the following from one of my Scottish contributors, I felt I should brighten up your new day with it.

    I certainly laughed out loud at some of the quotes!

    ================================================

    Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
    –Mariah Carey
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
    — Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    >
    “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
    –Winston Bennett,  University  of  Kentucky  basketball forward.
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    >
    “Outside of the killings,  Washington  has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
    –Mayor Marion Barry,  Washington  ,  DC  . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    >
    “That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
    –A congressional candidate in  Texas  .
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    >
    “Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
    –Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
    –Al Gore, Vice President
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “I love  California  . I practically grew up in  Phoenix  .”
    — Dan Quayle
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
    –Lee Iacocca
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
     

    “The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
    –Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
    — Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
    –Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    “Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”
    –Keppel Enderbery
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    >
    “If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
    — Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

     
  • ross1948 11:00 on July 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: brunch, , humour, , , , violence against men   

    “Angry drunk woman attacked boyfriend for refusing sex…” 


    Angry drunk woman attacked boyfriend for refusing sex

    Angry drunk woman attacked boyfriend for refusing sex

    A US woman has been arrested for beating up her boyfriend because he said no to sex. Tabatha Lee Grooms, 35, returned home from a boozy night out still fuming with her boyfriend for spurning her advances earlier in the day…

    How could he?

    Maybe he was in a grumpy mood after somebody broke his white stick?

    =============================

    Actually, it’s a serious issue, but humour can make you think!

    breakfast-breakfast-eggs-sausage-smiley-emoticon-000617-large

    Enough already. I’m going out while that hot Jakarta sun still shines. Since my warteg is now closed for Ramadan, I aim to make a virtue of necessity and indulge myself with a glorious Twelfth brunch!

     
  • ross1948 18:23 on November 30, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , humour, , , , , , ,   

    Ulster’s Terrorist Republican Minority – A Joke Begets a DEATH THREAT! 


    GregoryCampbell Gregory Campbell MP

    000000000000000000000

    The East Londonderry DUP MP has been contacted by police about a “serious threat to his life”, amid an ongoing row over comments he made about the Irish language.

    My God, we know these IRA/Sinn Fein scumbags are bigoted beasts, for sure, but can’t they even take a joke?

    We here in Jakarta make language jokes all the time!

    If I ask my good-natured Indonesian visitors ‘Apa Kabar?’ (How are you?) they may well reply, ‘Sepeda, sepeda.”

    Bike And Girl Wallpaper (14)

    That means ‘bicycle, bicycle!’ But they are playing on the proper response,’Baik,baik,” which means “Fine!”

    Good humour, yeah? 

    Which Sinn Fein/IRA obviously lack!

    Earlier this month Mr Campbell said “curry my yoghurt can coca coal yer” while putting a question to Sinn Féin Culture Minister Carál Ní Chuilín in the Assembly. His words sound similar to the phrase “go raibh maith agat, Ceann Comhairle”, which is used by some Sinn Féin members and means “thank you, Speaker”

    Whatever the merits of Gaelic-Irish language lessons, it was perfectly clear that Mr. Campbell was poking fun at his republican opponents, who, sedulous in their role as Eire’s Fifth Column, flaunt these linguistic affectations in Ulster’s provincial legislature…

    ========================================

    • english-post-english-not-good
    • …yet almost certainly speak the lingo of Wicked Old England when downing their Guinness in the Falls Road rat-hole pubs where they plot their subversion.

    So good for Gregory, who stoutly stands his ground, telling the vermin that he “will not be dictated to or deflected by terrorists! Exposing those politicising the Irish language, as well as those making unrealistic political demands at the talks table is the right thing to do.”

    ==============

    no-surrender-9

    “.

    Campbell ‘not deterred’ by death threat
    U.TV25 Nov 2014

     
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