Clap Hands, Here Come Inadequates!

It seems clear that university admissions boards must review on what basis young adults gain entry to the groves of academe.

In my day, sufficient passes of a good standard were all that were required.

We were all so proud and pleased.

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I’m not sure, but I may well have clapped my hands with delight when I received my letter of acceptance. For sure my Mother did.

Certainly I let out a whoop of glee.

But now the pinkos and pansies of Manchester Students Union have voted, wait for it, to BAN clapping.

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‘…because it could trigger anxiety!’

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!

What a pathetic crowd of weeping willows!

… the loud noise of traditional clapping could pose anxiety or sensory issues…

Hee-Haw!

That’s the obvious response, but in reality, this rubbish deserves serious thought. Clearly a significant number of undergrad admissions are unfit for higher education.

I’m surprised they made it past kindergarten and one suspects many conceal nappies ( diapers, for American readers!) under their fashionably ragged jeans.

Those who find clapping makes them anxious might usefully be sent on compulsory courses to remedy their inadequacy.

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Live ammo SAS exercises would be perfect!

If any mincing ninnies are discovered sobbing under a bush with soiled underwear?

The latter-day fontleroys should be told straight – only grown-ups are acceptable at British universities.

But there’s more!

British Sign Language clapping or jazz hands would be a more inclusive form of expression

Inclusive?

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Whatever happened to the Golden Calf of ‘Diversity?’

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However, if Sign Language is to soothe poncey little twits’ sensitivities…

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God knows what ‘Jazz Hands’ may be – oops! The move is performed by tilting the head slightly, shimmering the hands with fingers splayed either side of the face and crying ‘Jazz Hands!’ with an enthusiastic smile. Think Jack from Will and Grace.   Thanks, Urban Dictionary. Like, who the heck are Jack, Will and Grace?

This is ever more troubling – imagine a room full of fools capering like gibbons in the above manner?

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…why not borrow from the blind as well as the deaf?

I imagine that if cheerful applause makes some floppy little fops all fretty, so being observed by less degenerate students must also leave them in a dreadfully stressed state – so why not have everyone wear a blindfold?

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https://www.scotsman.com/news/uk/student-union-bans-clapping-over-fears-it-could-trigger-anxiety

Oxford University – Clap Hands, Here Comes Brain-Death!

I had some very good times when I lived in Cambridge, including a spell as treasurer of a pub football team in which sportsmen of both town and gown backgrounds played well together.

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I even wrote a team song, which ( I heard from one of the strikers, now a professor! ) was still being sung, though rarely,  as recently as last year! Three decades or more, and still going!

I delighted in wandering along the Cam’s banks, strolling in the quads of King’s and other colleges, and like anyone else, revered the ancient University.

Although Oxford was the great rival, that place too has always stood high in my esteem. 

Thus while I had to laugh at the sheer moronism of this story, it saddened me too, for Oxbridge, I had felt, was not reduced to the level of other  British institutions of higher education.

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So who let these inane dorkesses in?

As the National Union of Students’ Women’s conference opened yesterday, delegates were asked to replace applause with ‘feminist jazz hands’.

…the Oxford University Student Union’s Women’s Campaign (@womcam) claimed clapping was ‘triggering anxiety’. This latest safe-space policy requested attendees refrain from applauding motions that included calls to ‘end transphobia, biphobia, and Islamophobia on campus.’ .

http://www.spiked-online.com/newsite/article/whos-afraid-of-clapping-feminst-students-thats-who/16815#.VRX1CPmUc5I

OMG!

Of course, as soon as one hears the ‘phobia’ words, one grasps that one has entered PC Phantasmagoria Land, where Boogeymen – sorry Boogeypersons – dwell. But I was also baffled, never having heard the phrase ‘jazz hands’ before. What could it mean?

It must be well known back in The Old Country, for the author, a sane student called Sam, doesn’t bother to explain it.

So I looked it up -”the extension of a performer’s hands with palms toward the audience and fingers splayed. It is commonly associated with especially exuberant types of performance…”

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Whose ‘jazz hands?’ Comrade Chairperson of Oxbridge Brain-Dead Women’s Collective?

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Aha! Something like what those other morons, the police-hating, knuckle-dragging pro-criminal demo dunces in the USA, do, while oinking ‘Hands Up Don’t Shoot!’ in support of anti-social undesirables who get what’s coming to them! 

As to why clapping might conceivably trigger anxiety, I’m none the wiser.

In my speech-making days, anxiety might obtrude if NOBODY clapped! But as a sound, it always heartened me, and when we clapped for others, there was no sign the merry din filled them with trepidation..

Best you read it for yourselves. It’s hilarious, especially this last bit, which I append in case you’re too busy to follow the link!,

.On one notable feminist Facebook group, a discussion began on whether the use of feminist jazz hands meant the NUS delegates were engaging in some sort of abhorrent ‘cultural appropriation’. In their attempt to create a space safe from oppressive clapping, it appeared to some that the conference may have just also offended ‘gay black men’, as jazz hands were ‘used as a signal among New Orleans LGBT community as a way of identifying themselves to one another.’

ooooooooooooo

 

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