Surga Dunia? Jakarta, Pasti!

Surga dunia! Heaven on Earth!

That’s oft been my reply when Indonesians ask me how come I’ve stayed in Jakarta for so many years.

If your previous location was somewhere in one of those chilly countries that border the shores of the North Atlantic, you’d be off yer rocker not to be happy here in this mostly hot and sunny city..

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Even in the current rainy season, few days pass without an hour or two of sunshine when one can sit out front and bask with a book.

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A warteg – hard to spend more than two bucks, unless your appetite is gargantuan! 

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Eating is cheap if you’re not a stuck-up.

Most people are friendly, and many of them are a delight to behold!

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Miss Indonesia candidates a year or two ago, but there are millions more just as cute!

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What’s not to like?

At once a dozen hands will go up, a chorus of ‘The Traffic,’ and yes, that is a major minus, but if you’re retired from serious toil, it is not an insurmoutable burden, especially if you have the sense not to take taxis. Public transport is just as fast as cabs, and a tenth of the price! 

But now I read that Governor Ahok has hi-jacked my term of praise to pin-point just one small corner of the capital city he runs – NB, I mean he runs the city, not the specific place he mentioned! –  the Hotel Alexis’ 7th Floor, where there’s an institution hitherto unknown to yours truly, the Bath House Spa.

• I used Google Translate to interpret the article in Okezone.com, with hilarious results, and offer you some choice extracts.

..In the Hotel Alexis there’s the 7th floor… In the Alexis it is not Heaven at Mother’s feet, but Heaven on the 7th Floor,” Ahok said, at City Hall, Jakarta, Tuesday (16/02/2016)    http://news.okezone.com/read/2016/02/16/338/1313623/ahok-lantai-7-alexis-surga-dunia.

I am sure Ahok was talking tongue in cheek, for his outlook on certain matters has in the past indicated a very prudish mindset, as when he had a hissy fit about a teen bikini party in another hotel 

“No, they can’t hold a bikini party. They could get arrested. There’s a regulation governing that. You can wear bikini at Ancol [beach], as you swim….”

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• ” But if you go to a party dressed in a bikini, it’s outrageous.”
  

  ”Outrageous” Activity in Jakarta Pools? OMG – BIKINIS! 

I’ve generally had nothing but praise for the Guv, but he does have a Victorian streak!

However, let’s look at the report.

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Sex workers in the Hotel Alexis, said Ahok, originate from various countries. However, such imported strumpets are smart about covering their identity.

Strumpets!

What a splendidly old-fashioned word! But the man’s no doubt correct.

What amazes me though is why – when Indonesian women must rank as among the loveliest on Earth (don’t know about Heaven!) there’s any perceived need to import foreign chicks.

Yet the grass is always greener, so I guess local customers regard Slavonic gals as agreeably exotic! 

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I met a Russian lady in the late lamented Tanamur disco once.Let’s Re-Open TANAMUR, She was very charming, and appreciated my attempts to converse in her language.

‘Morozhenye,’ I said. ‘Ice Cream!’  

She laughed out loud, perhaps imagining I wanted her to engage in some outlandish use of that substance.

Alas, apart from ‘hello’ and ‘thanks,’ that’s about the limit of my Russian vocab. So we got no further than that!

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The Okezone writer has a much more appealing range of vocabulary, or at least that’s how Google renders his words.

Bath House Spa. Here are provided various facilities to ease tensions on the sidelines…

That’s in the Alexis, it seems –  but all over Jakarta…

…undeniably, during this time, many businesses satisfying lust are cloaked in various enterprises, such as massage parlors, karaoke parlors and nightclubs….with a varied fare, from hundreds of thousands to millions of rupiah.

As UK bus conductors used to shout, ‘FARES PLEASE!’

Kasihan Hotel Alexis! Dimana Keadilan Jakarta?

As the sorry saga of Kali Jodo has unfolded, I’ve more than once alluded to the seeming hypocrisy of hounding a small kampung in North West Jakarta for the presence there, in workingmen’s watering-holes, of kupu2 malam, i.e. ‘night-butterflies,’ i.e.hookers, when night after night the bars of numerous posh hotels downtown positively teem with prostitutes.

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Kali Jodo – Think Again, Ahok! Why Delight IslamoNazis? 

The only difference is that the prices they seek to extort from horny rich guys is ten times that requested politely by the disadvantaged slappers in poor neighbourhoods.

If you drop into Hotel ++++++++++ or Hotel ######### on Jalan Sudirman, on what are delicately termed “ladies’ nights,” you can watch the gals shimmying in, having travelled up from Blok M’s dimly lit dives on those little white mini-buses.

 

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They are NOT there just for the discounted drinks (s0me hotels offer FREE drinks for females – there have long been rumours of similar “gents’ nights” but I’ve yet to find them!) 

Now it seems some of Jakarta’s city fathers have taken notice of the double-standards involved in the proposed extirpation of Kali Jodo. But far from targetting the fancy five-stars, they’ve turned the spotlight on the Hotel Alexis!

It’s a modest three-star way up near the Ancol shore.

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ri

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I must be truthful and admit I’ve never entered the Alexis, though I once picked up a taxi at the car park there, after getting lost in Angke and walking round a dark kampung for an hour or more! But I know many people who have been inside and they say it’s a darn fine place for a fun night out!

Or if you Google it, using ‘Photos,’ you can get an idea of its numerous delights.

However, ‘delight’ is not the reported reaction of the ever-so-righteous members of Jakarta’s DPRD (City Council)

Their august Vice-Chairman. a certain Abraham Lunggana, who has appeared not only in our blog before but also in the Jakarta Post…

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Lunggana

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2014/10/01/idul-adha-livestock-merchants-brawl-with-officers-tanah-abang.html  -do read that story!

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…is said to have named the Alexis as a place demanding attention.

But why hasn’t he, or some other councillor, thought to name and shame the big fish rather than the middling minnows?

Personally, I see no reason to interfere with the Alexis. I agree with what Governor Ahok Why Has Ahok Given Kali Jodo An Islamic Deadline?  said on the subject, before he changed his mind.

Jakarta Governor Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama is recommending that the city administration legalize prostitution in certain areas…

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“Legalizing a prostitution site would be a solution because no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to eradicate prostitution. It will always exist as long as humans exist.”    Pelacuran Dimana? One Law for the Rich! 

And after all, there are so many real social cancers in Jakarta!

l won’t talk tonight about day-to-day crime and corruption, but I would suggest that shutting down sectarian thug gangs like the FPI would be a far worthier cause for councillors ( and the capital city’s police  Twenty Officers Injured – So JakartaCops ‘Negotiate’ With islamist Thug Gang?) to champion.     

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PS If you want to see for yourself, before any kill-joys make it less interesting, here’s the info.

Jl. R.E. Martadinata No. 1, Daerah Khusus Ibukota Jakarta 14430

Telepon:(021) 69833333

 

 

Why Has Ahok Given Kali Jodo An Islamic Deadline?

Blockaded by security forces, strict police control on who goes in or out? 

If that were the situation around IslamoNazi HQ in Tanah Abang, decent citizens would cheer.

But while white-shirt FPI thugs remain free to go to and fro around the capital, and have all kinds of fanatics flit in and out of their lair, residents in Kali Jodo must now feel their little neighbourhood is in a state of quarantine.

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 Kali Jodo by night

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Jakarta Governor Basuki Tjahaja Purnama said dozens of police officers and soldiers have been deployed to seal off Kalijodo, in a move to put an end to prostitution and gambling business, adding that only residents are allowed to enter….

http://jakartaglobe.beritasatu.com/news/jakarta-seals-off-kalijodo-red-light-district-bid-stamp-prostitution-gambling/

•  Ahok
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• So, Governor Ahok –  nobody except some media calls him by his formal name –  will you now send cops charging into the many five-star hotels in downtown Jakarta where prostitution flourishes?

Do you now genuinely want all prostitution in Jakarta to be eradicated? Was that report last year inaccurate?

Jakarta Governor Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama is recommending that the city administration legalize prostitution in certain areas…

 

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“Legalizing a prostitution site would be a solution because no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to eradicate prostitution. It will always exist as long as humans exist.”    Pelacuran Dimana? One Law for the Rich! 

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It’s painful to have to put such questions to a man whom I have often offered the strongest support when he’s been harassed by Islamist bigots.

Jakarta Jew-Haters Boo Chinese Christian Candidate 

But I have to. And ask again…

Or is this jackboot jive only playing against poor people?

Yes, we did ask that same question last week – Kali Jodo – Think Again, Ahok! Why Delight IslamoNazis? – but another new and very odd aspect to Ahok’s action emerges from the Jakarta Globe report.

He has refused to reveal an exact date for the eviction, but promised it will be held before the capital welcomes Organization of Islamic Cooperation member states for an annual summit next March.

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•  OIC  – The Organisation of Islamic Cooperation (OIC) (formerly Organization of the Islamic Conference)  – new name, but just the same sectarian censorship ambitions!

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What’s the OIC got to do with it? Their delegates are unlikely to go anywhere near KJ. They’ll be comfortably lodged in five-star hotels downtown!

So is Ahok out to curry favour with a body that wages worldwide war on civil liberties?

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Largest Islamic Body in the World Calls for More Anti-Free Speech Laws in Wake of Charlie HebdoAttack  –https://pjmedia.com/blog/organization-of-islamic-cooperation-calls-for-more-speech-codes-defamation-laws-in-wake-of-charlie-hebdo-attack/

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Kali Jodo – Think Again, Ahok! Why Delight IslamoNazis?

I’ve posted on Kali Jodo before, more than once. 

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Aduh! Adieu Kali Jodo? 

It’s a relatively short stretch of waterside road in Northwest Jakarta, which – as you can see from the night-time photo – is visually impressive.

From a distance! At night! By day, not so impressive, but it has potential, and has always struck me as slightly reminiscent of the promenade in Nice!.

Its demise has been declared imminent for more than a year, so nice to know it’s still there. But maybe not for long, and this acceleration towards destruction has been ‘justified’ in a most illogical manner.

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Kali Jodo,Northwest Jakarta

Nice, South of France

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According to Rancah Post, Jakarta’s Governor Ahok has chosen to use a fatal accident on nearby Daan Mogot, a main road down which I passed only yesterday, as his excuse to speed up plans to ‘crack down.’

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 Ahok

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The driver is said to have been ‘downing beers in Kali Jodo.‘

That may be true, but are the bars, never mind the entertainment areas, where someone has consumed too many drinks, instantly targetted for total devastation, every time a drunk causes a fat-acc?

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Were that so, there’d be precious few taverns in the town, any town anywhere.

Ahok is usually a cornucopia of common sense, a good governor, but this time I can’t go along with his reasoning. Alas, Kali Jodo’s reputation as an area of ​​gambling and prostitution means that few folk will spring to its defence.  
The report describes the small area as having at least 60 buildings used as a karaoke home to about 15 to 20 prostitutes in each of the cafes.

Again, to declare war on bars that have 15 to 20 hookers hanging about would logically mean shutting down quite a lot of the five-star hotels in Jakarta. 

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I once took a girl-friend to a very posh hotel to celebrate my birthday. We got there at around 7pm, ordered a couple of very expensive drinks in an almost empty bar, and were mildly amazed when, shortly after 8pm, it was suddenly inundated by about a hundred kupu2 malam – night butterflies, as the euphemism here goes!

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The thing is, those ladies were hoping to cater to rich people, affluent tourists or local businessmen. Kalijodo’s little watering-holes are patronised by humble folk, off-duty ojeks, the motor-bike-cabbies, or equally off-duty satpams, the ubiquitous security guards, working men for whom the prices are kept sane, a bottle of Bintang costing not mucn more than you pay in a supermarket.

Knock those little cafes down, you’ll not stop prostitution, just shift it, and you’ll deprive the poorest section of Jakarta’s working population of bars they can afford to drink in. And there aren’t very many of those.

Among the many who will not speak up for the putative dispossessed are Jakarta’s IslamoNazis, the FPI (Islamic Defenders Front)

Far from it!

 …according to Chairman of the Islamic Defenders Front, Ahmad Shobri Lubis. “As community members we are ready to support the government. As long it’s for a good cause, we have no problem if asked to help the police and the military.”

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 Lubis

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ITMA again!

Lubis’ idea of a good cause was exemplified when he exhorted a rabid pack of primitive fanatics to ‘kill, kill, kill’ members of the peaceful Ahmadiyah minority. Watch the brute’s hate-rant here- . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7RLCXNdKF4

And the brutal Lubis’s gangster group have made violent threats against Kali Jodo in the past. 

Jakarta’s IslamoNazis Threaten More Thuggery 

 However, back to the report. 

But it seems the effort to police Kalijodo will not run smoothly – thugs and the people in the vicinity are rumored to be against Ahok’s plan to curb the place.

Funny that the report only uses the word thugs once they have already finished covering the FPI aspect.

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Thugs perfectly sums up the FPI!

But let not the IslamoNazis get away with telling the media they are motivated by ‘good causes.’

There’s at least some element of revenge in there too. The report offers insight into why they won’t try one of their all-too-frequent amok-runs against fellow-citizens…

IslamoNazis V Freedom-Fighters? – Some Chicken, Some Neck! 

FPI in West Java – ‘Let’s Burn Out the Orphans!’ 

…not without a powerful police escort.  

According to the Commissioner Krishna Murti in his book entitled ‘Geger Kalijodo’, Kalijodo is guarded by thugs known as Tiger Cubs, whose duty is to maintain and supervise the practice of gambling and prostitution in Kalijodo.

Chaps not to antagonise, clearly. But sit back and enjoy the next extract, which is ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL!

The toughness of this group was previously tested when they repulsed an FPI invasion… At that time, the FPI plunged headlong onto the motorway after being overwhelmed by forces armed with sharp weapons.

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 ‘FPI. Noble Life or Martyr’s Death’ – or scuttle across the road, sharpish!

.WOW!

That episode deserves to be immortalised, not just in the Commissioner’s book but in a movie.

It would be watched avidly and repeatedly in many communities across the archipelago which have been the scene of white-shirt thug depradations.

http://www.rancahpost.co.id/20160250728/dijaga-anak-macan-fpi-dan-ahok-siap-serbu-kalijodo/

Another report adds to the yummy yarn. 

It didn’t stop there, according to Krishna, the  Cubs had infiltrated their men in among the FPI to monitor their movements….

So these guys are not just muscle. According to Krishna, the Tiger Cubs have a neat organizational structure..  http://wartakota.tribunnews.com/2016/02/12/geng-anak-macan-bikin-fpi-terbirit-birit-dari-kalijodo

Givn the FPI’s record of cowardice, notably in Sukorejo or Purwakarta, you can see why they haven’t been back to Kali Jodo, and won’t, unless they go skulking along in the shadow of a major police operation.

AA? Siapa Kucing Mewah Itu? Ahmad Dhani HARUS Tahu!

During last year’s presidential election here in Indonesia, I had cause to criticise Ahmad Dhani for his insulting reference to kucing2 kampung.

Marah Besar! Ahmad Dhani Targets Jokowi, Disses My Cat. 

He was being shrill, and a snob to boot, with that reference to ‘common cats,’ implicitly comparing them unfavourably to the rather ugly (in my view) and outrageously expensive (indisputable fact) kucing mewah (posh cats) which rich people like to possess.

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 Ibi    Dhani   Who’s the more impressive?

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My cat Ibi is a true K.K., been with me now a dozen years and infinitely nicer, cleaner and cheaper to run than those glowering angoras that cost millions.

So when I noticed Dhani was demanding the secret identity of the mysterious AA, the celebrity slapper arrested in the nameless but also, apparently, posh hotel   http://pontianak.tribunnews.com/2015/05/11/ahmad-dhani-ingin-tahu-siapa-saja-artis-yang-merangkap-psk. …well, it was just a must that we focus today on the singing plutocrat.

Dhani said he would later contact the Director General of of Criminal Investigation, Jakarta Police, Commissioner Heru Pranoto, to find out who it is  and whether shw’s an artist in the sense of art that produces works of art or not.

Oh, so he can judge, can he?

 This Dhani has no small opinion of himself!

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• If you or I were to contact Commissioner Heru screeching for disclosure of the personal details of the lady in question, I dare say we’d be given the bum’s rush.

The cops have refused to reveal such information to the public, and why should this obstreperous minstrel be made an exception?

When the authorities deem it appropriate, we’ll no doubt all know who the (no doubt yummy) hussy is!

There’s no call for self-important loud-mouths to be ‘contacting’ the cops before then!

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• Aaah, but he claims to have heard rumours!  It seems he has often heard that there are artists who also sold or rented themsleves out as commercial sex workers (PSK)
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• And having listened to gossip, and being a good citizen, of course, he promptly supplied all details of such prostitution to the police?

No idea!

But…

“Who is it, actually? I want to know!” said Dhani in Jakarta, Monday (11/05/2015)  “We don’t know if she’s an artist or not. What is the definition of an artist…Is a soap opera star regarded as an artist?”

Aaah, so culturally distinguished Dhani may consider mere ‘sinetron‘ stars to be something less than the ‘artist’ he considers himself to be?

Hell, I’d rather watch some of the classy bints on local soaps than listen to his idea of music anytime!

nd I’m sure Ibi Cat agrees!

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• PS – if you want to see what I mean about sinetron stars, just put ‘bintang sinetron sexy ‘ into the Google Picture Search and off you go!
• I was going to provide some delightful photos, but not today – it could be misinterpreted as suggesting one of them is ‘AA.’

One hot gal has already been pictured in another part of the media and she has hotly denied her part in the story. Not fair!

One should always be nice to nifty chicks – right, Mr. Ahmad Dhani?

 

‘An Internet Network of Hijabbed Hookers!’

Regular readers will know I occasionally lament the increasing incidence of head-scarfing here in Jakarta.

Although there’s absolutely no obligation for Muslim girls to do so, as even the BBC has had to admit,…

It’s on the BBC! Bag-Head Bans Do Not Infringe Religious Liberty! 

…the constant war of attrition on sex equality by fanatics is having an effect.

Even coming home on my non-AC 213 bus last night, I couldn’t help but notice that around a third of the female passengers were thus attired. Still, given that 90% of Jakarta is Muslim, surely encouraging that most are not knuckilng under to Dark Age dress-codes.   

• 

• But after scanning the news before retiring for the night, I am beginning to wonder if my concerns are rooted in misperceptions.

Head-shrouding detracts drastically from the wearer’s feminine charm, IMHO, but maybe other guys LIKE their women to resemble Darth Vadar!  

BTW, I didn’t even need to compose my own headline!  The words up top are a word-for-word translation of the headline above the shocker story in Merdeka.com yesterday!

Jaringan pelacur berjilbab di Internet

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Actually even my fairly unshockable self was taken aback by the graphic description therein, so my advice to readers curious enough to want to learn more?

Just utilise the link and then use Google Translate.http://www.merdeka.com/khas/jaringan-pelacur-berjilbab-di-internet-pelacur-berjilbab-5.html

That service often gives wildly awry versions of what’s in the original Indonesian reports, but in this case leaves NOTHING to the imagination.

 

 

It’s GROSS!

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Here’s one printable extract to whet your appetite!

The Twitter account belonging to FKka ******* account is similar to other prostitutes. She posts pictures of half her body, wearing only her underwear along with the veil. The account already has 37 thousand followers.

If we have any comparison shoppers out there, the report says that one young lady, named Andini, in Surabaya, East Java, charges Rp.700,000 per hour.

That’s about USD$70.

Is there an add-on to take off the veil, or is there a discount if she’s shrouded?

 

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Baffling stuff!