Hidup Wartegku! Jakarta’s Best Eatery?

I just went out a while ago, to see if my favourite Jakarta eatery, my local warteg…

warung Tegal—shortened as warteg (a food stall that specifically serves Javanese food) Backstory behind favorite dining spot of locals: ‘warteg’ 

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NOT my warteg – don’t want it crowded out!

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…has re-opened – the proprietrix, like most everyone else, goes back to her home-town, Tegal, Central Java, in her case, for every annual Idul Fitiri holiday.

And sure enough, it has!

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A yummy feast, my brunch, of telor puyung, pare, rice, tempe, tahu and es teh manis – use Google translate – and all for under Rp.20,000 – about two Canadian bucks!

Both the lady owner and her young waitresses – she always bring some new ones back from her visits home – are friendly, and speedy at serving up the food.

If I thought the modest diner had a chance, I’d enter it in “Now Jakarta’s” annual competition…

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THE POLLS ARE OPEN! JAKARTA’S BEST RESTAURANT, BAR AND CAFE AWARDS 2018 The NOW! Jakarta Best Restaurant, Bar & Café Awards (Jakarta BRBCA) voting platform is officially open. Now it’s time for you to have your say!

…but on previous form, the only restos with any chance of success are the haunts of the rich, or at least those who are richer than I, or the other warteg customers, and although many likely candidates for the ‘Now’ award are plush and shiny, they aren’t places…

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…where you’d even get a cuppa coffee for the price I paid today for a plateful of filling local dishes!

But you are certainly welcome to have a go.

Simply visit best.nowjakarta.co.id and click ‘Log In’. Registration only requires an email address, you’ll get a Confirmation Email in your inbox to validate your details. Once you’ve confirmed, Log In to the Jakarta BRBCA website and start voting!

Ayam2 Jawa – Mogok? Java Chickens On Strike?

As it turns out, today is International Chocolate Day.

I don’t know anybody who DOESN’T like chocolate, but it’s not something I often eat, not much into sweets except for special occasions.

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Hence I buy it to serve my most favoured visitors, one of whom is dropping by today.

So, in its ice-cream form, Superindo’s finest es krem   coklat will be enjoyed later.

But I DO like eggs, friend, poached, boiled and in the omelette form…

…

.

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….sold in my local warteg as telur dadar jagung.

So when that warteg re-opened after Rhamadan, only yesterday, the proprietrix having brought some new young waitresses back from Tegal in Central Java, thither I hastened, there in search of eggy food.

Because when I went to Hero Supermarket on Wednesday, not ONE single egg was to be found on the usually full shelves.

I joked with the lady at the cashier that the hens must be on strike but she said it was just a slack delivery service.

Yet on entering the warteg yesterday…NO EGGS!

Couldn’t get any, Pak, was the plaintive lament.

What’s going on!?!

PS my bilingual headline may have misled local readers, because ayam   -chicken – does not only mean chicken.

In slang usage, an ayam is a member of the oldest profession, professional or otherwise!

Islamist Intolerance Rules, In ‘Moderate’ Police State!

Well now!

Even Amnesty agrees with me on this!

They have condemned the imprisonment of a man in Tunisia for smoking a cigarette in public during the dawn-to-dusk Muslim fast.

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I’ve been smoking all over town here in Jakarta, a 90% Muslim city, and not noticed that anybody looks askance. My lunches are still taken at my warteg, though it has its ‘holy’ curtains up out front.

Big Mackistan? Ramadhan Lock-Out at McD Sarinah?

I find this month wearisome, partly from reading snippets of of news from outside Jakarta.. 

Bigot Goon-Squad Bullies Vendor – Decent Indonesians Open Hearts AND Wallets!

…where sectarian bullying can be the work of IslamoNazi thugs…

…or may well be enshrined in local regulations – like in Mandar, where dozens of people were harassed and detained  by cops, local militia and religious leaders and community leaders, last week.

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…the local government has written to every food stall and beverage owner so that during Ramadan do not operate during the day in honor of Muslims who are running fast. But still many stalls reported residents remain open as usual….“All the food stalls that remain operational during the day during Ramadan will be disciplined, “said H Ummar S, head of Wonomulyo.

That’s a Javanese community, in West Sulawesi Province, not in Java at all, it exists due to trans-island migration, some people having evidently carried their bigotry with them,

Jakarta also has some bizarre regulations, and my partying opportunities are lessened. There are those silly curtains to hide non-fasters from fasters, to avoid testing the latter’s spiritual commitment, but life goes on.

Not so in Tunisia.

A crack-pot bigot court there sentenced the man to one month in jail for “public indecency”.

Tunisia, we keep getting told, is a ‘moderate’ Islamic country, but after this hogwash we’ll need to take that with a large pinch of salt.

Not to say there aren’t decent Muslims there, because dozens protested on Sunday in the capital, Tunis, for the right to eat and drink in public during Ramadan.

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But the nut-job verdict was hardly a one-off, because the BBC also tells us that a fortnight ago, four men were sentenced to one month in prison after eating in public.

Thanks to Amnesty, for advising us that in fact there is no legal basis for the sectarian persecution – there are no laws in mainly Muslim Tunisia requiring individuals to fast or barring them from eating or smoking publicly during the Islamic holy month of Ramadan…

Tunisian smoker jailed for not fasting during Ramadan

In other words, the state can spuriously claim to be civilised and open because there’s no relevant statute, but the reality is that the benighted courts just make it up as they go along to hammer anyone who steps out of line…

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….shoddy drivel like a ‘public decency’ charge to lend a threadbare legitimacy to their backward bullying Islamist intolerance.

Ramadhan just has a few days to run. It’s meant to be a time of contemplation, not a bad idea, indeed.

I’m simply contemplating which is worse.

The Tunisian hypocrisy way, or the West Sulawesi way, with its Dark Age diktat.

I’m still wondering.

Why can’t these crude kill-joys just live and let live?

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T – That’s How Ramadhan Must Be, Mr. UK Ambassador!

Fascinated by the comments of Her Britannic Majesty’s Ambassador to Indonesia this week …

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In his first year celebrating the annual Muslim celebration of Idul Fitri in Indonesia, British Ambassador to Indonesia Moazzam Malik says he feels the traditions of joy for Muslims are not that different from those observed in his native UK.

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2016/07/07/idul-fitri-tradition-in-ri-comparable-to-uk-envoy.html

As I prepare to go into town this beautiful Jakarta morning, I am looking forward to seeing the trappings of intolerance gone from fancy restos and humble eateries alike. 

I refer of course to those offensive curtains erected in their windows, to which I made reference very recently.

Big Mackistan? Ramadhan Lock-Out at McD Sarinah? 

 

Lukman

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Those who do not fast must respect those who fast and vice versa, Religious Affairs Minister Lukman Hakim Saifuddin said…  http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2016/06/13/tolerance-and-mutual-respect-a-must-during-ramadhan-religious-affairs-minister.html

Lukman is of course correct,  echoing a similar sentiment I’ve often quoted, the words of the late President Gus Dur.

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‘If we fasting Muslims want respect, let us also respect those who aren’t fasting.’

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If somebody wants to go from pre-dawn to dusk without eating and drinking, and manages to do so, I respect his or her tenacity, and would not seek to interfere in such acts of self-denial.

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Equally, anyone, of any faith, who wishes to eat and/or drink during those hours should feel free to do so, unmolested by either IslamoNazi thugs like the FPI…

IslamoNazi Thugs Amok, Jakarta Cops Say ‘No Charges!’ 

… or by sectarian fanatics like those benighted local government regulators up there in darkest Serang, in Banten Province.   Bigot Goon-Squad Bullies Vendor – Decent Indonesians Open Hearts AND Wallets!

Lukman again – “During Ramadhan, the holy month, we must reinforce and strengthen our tolerance, not only among the Ukhuwah Islamiyah [Islamic brotherhood], but also the Ukhuwah Wathaniyah [brotherhood of the nation],” he told journalists at the State Palace.

I like Lukman.

Even when I disagree with him, he is such a refreshing improvement on his predecessor, Suryadharma Ali, a politician so beyond the ken of normal folk…

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White-shirt fuhrer Rizieq with Ali.

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…..that he was prepared to accept awards from those afore-mentioned IslamoNazis.  Good Indonesians Denounce ArchBigot Ali’s Latest Intolerant Outburst

oooo

But it would be good if Lukman tried to be a little more pro-active. He could take a giant leap for fair play, tell his government colleagues to give up on kill-joy diktats which target those not abstaining from fun…

Ramadhan Begins! Sectarian Reminders Issued! 

 But even a small step would be progress of sorts, a ministerial exhortation to all the warungs, wartegs, restos and all eateries in Jakarta to remove those ridiculous pieces of cloth draped across their windows during Ramadhan.

They have two disadvantages.

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• First, you can’t watch girls go by if you are sitting within.

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Second, and arguably more compelling, the silly little sheets are a condescending insult to every fasting Muslim who passes the place.

Those draped windows mock their tenacity and suggest their commitment to self-denial is as flimsy as the cheap cotton of which the curtains are usually made.

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As if the sight or smell of sate kambing or nasi goreng would bring them to break their fast!

Rather they should welcome such temptations, which can demonstrate they’re above mundane distractions. 

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Back to Pak Malik. 

“There are a lot of Muslims in London, and even if we are not the majority, we observe traditions that are similar to those in Indonesia, such as pilgrimages to family graves, gathering with family for meals and silaturahmi,” Ambassador Malik said on Wednesday.

Yes, Your Excellency, those are nice traditions, worthy of respect, and yesterday I sent out quite a few SMSes wishing various friends ‘Selamat Idul Fitri,‘ the local equivalent of ‘Merry Christmas,’ with which, despite the ranting bigots’ manic antics…

IslamoNazi Christmas Warning – Don’t You Dare Disturb Us Bigots! 

…they greet me in December.

But there are other very different ‘traditions’ here, like sectarian sticky-beak raiding parties… 

Ramadan Raids In Righteous Indonesia – Oh Yeah? 

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…which are staged not only by the white-shirt hoods but by tax-funded civic militia and the constabulary, which need to be STAMPED OUT if Indonesia wants to show the world that it’s a better place to be than the shariah police states in the Middle East.  

It’s important that readers in Western nations should remember that their nations too face the intrusion of primitive intolerance.

We saw it in France this year…

IslamoNazi Intimidation…in Nice, France! 

 …and we’ve seen this vile phenomenon in London too, maybe not in Harrow, where Mr. Malik grew up, but most certainly in Tower Hamlets, and elsewhere in England.

Police ‘covered up’ violent campaign to turn London area ‘Islamic …

And what, may we ask, did Home Secretary Theresa May ever do about that?

Will Theresa May Countenance A Ban On Nobbly Knees? 

But then, she has some odd notions, hasn’t she?

Osteria Francescana? Gimana Wartegku?

Shock news on tv tonight, just before I turn in, with an eatery in the Italian city of Modena apparently winning the title of the ‘World’s Best Restaurant! ‘ 

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The Winner! Osteria Francescana

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No disrespect to the Osteria Francescana – never heard of it, to be frank! – but who the heck gets to vote on these awards?

Not you, I’ll bet, any more than I.

It’s like the Oscars, all us folks who spend their dollars and quids and euros and yen that make movies a success – we never get a vote! The decision’s made by a pack of poncey celebs and plutocrats.

And the less said about the Cannes Film Festival the better, a playground for pseudo-intellectuals and posers.

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Jakarta warteg

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I suppose my local Jakarta warteg didn’t get a look-in, despite its prices being much more affordable ( two bucks for a big filling meal!) and its hour of opening far longer – the Osteria shuts at 9.30pm, according to internet info!

But no complaints from me – the warteg is a pleasant, friendly little place and has no need of gawping crowds – they’d make it hard to get one of its maybe twenty seats!

Indonesia Expat Magazine- Always A Rewarding Read!

Not paying much attention today, got a few bottles of Anker to drink out front on this magnificently hot arvo. Also have Indonesia Expat to read, picked up on my dawdle around town yesterday.

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• I took a brief nostalgic detour round Jaksa, a scene of dereliction, the Obama Bar seemingly defunct (or has it moved?) and Romance Cafe sinking into a ruinous state, a sad loss still, after four years or is it more?

I only went to Jaksa to exchange some books, but Ning’s little store was closed for the holiday.

So off to Ya Udah, quieter than usual, where a couple of reasonably priced  Bintangs accompanied me for the hour or so I spent there.

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 Ya Udah

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• That’s where I got the mag, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
• Good articles, in particular the one about the ‘cat weddings’ in East Java…   http://indonesiaexpat.biz/other/playing-for-rain/

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• ooooooooooooooooooo

• …but also burst out laughing at some of the ads.

There was one depicting some blonde bint hovering by a sink in a posh restroom, in a dress which was obviously designed for easy access to body-parts not allowed on our tv by the Indonesian censors.

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•  Jalan Falatehan
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• The said bog was way too fancy to be that more or less uni-sex facility in D’s Place on Jl. Falatehan, but she could do well there.

What was it advertising?

Posh taps!

Seriously! Who advertises taps?

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a tap’s a tap, for pity’s sake’

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• Who shops for posh taps?

Presumably the guy who masquerades as the ‘Clandestine Critic.’

He actually writes amusingly of the joints he goes to, but although I had a chortle or two at his put-downs of the standard of service and the food, do he and I live in the same city?

His reported bill for two people was over a MILLION RUPIAH!

I pay about Rp.15000 for a very tasty and filling meal in my warteg.

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• Maybe if I wanted to impress some hoity-toity slapper encountered in the Mo Bar Ladies’ Night, I would stretch to Ya Udah, but c’mon, a HUNDRED dollars plus-plus to capture her heart?

In a city where many people get by on a monthly income less than he paid for his dinner?

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• YUK!

Having said that, his comments on fish and chips held my attention for seconds and seconds. Rp.140,000? That’s twice what I paid for PROPER fish n chips in Sydney.

He moans about how the pub concept ought to be tried seriously in snobby Kemang, but how about the chipper concept?

Real fish n chips is HARD to get here. 

Fish and Chips in Jakarta! A Veritable Grail-Quest! 

A lot of Indonesians think chips should appear (and taste) like fries, as Yanks call them.

If some guy or gal opened a REAL chipper – not in Kemang, please; it’s such an isolated kampung due to the terrible traffic – maybe in Blok M or Kota – it could be a gold-mine!

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And Indonesia has not been lumbered with the moronic hang-ups afflicting the UK, where it’s now forbidden by health nazis to wrap the food of the gods in old news-papers…

Like I say, Ankers away today…I’ll resume this tomorrow!

Senang Sekali! Warteg Buka…Plus Plus – FOUR Reasons to be Cheerful!

The warteg is open once more! 

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• 
• oooooooooooooooooooooooo

• I’d travelled all the way up to Citraland, got some bread etc., then, having purchased gado2 at the place I mentioned the other day (sadly sans that beauty who’d served me previously – looked her mum was on duty today!) I hopped an angkot back towards HQ.
• When I passed my culinary nirvana, sealed up tighter than a minority house of worship in Bekasi since nearly two weeks ago…WOW!

 It was open, signs of life within!

So out of the angkot and in I went, to be greeted like a prodigal by the proprietrix, though it was she who had gone far away, now returned from distant Tegal.

And not only she – there are THREE new waitresses too, all of them, when I walked in, busily cleaning up to start a fesh year of cooking tonight, serving tomorrow.

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• 
• …………….

• I’ll miss the other gals, now deposited back in their kampungs, somewhere around that city by the sea, but it’s always fun to make new friends too.

The Javanese teens watched me warily, astounded, maybe a trifle alarmed, at a bule on the premises. However, no doubt the good lady who employs them will have, by now, explained that I’m a regular, apart from the lunchtime crowd, probably one of their best customers!

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 Heapin’ helpin’ of warteg goodies, under two bucks, including es teh!

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I wonder if they will emulate their predecessors and ask for English classes while serving up cap cay, perkadel, tahu, etc. 

Kenapa? Macet Terus, di Jakarta!

Hell’s teeeth!

I was planning on going partying tonight, but when I wandered down after a langorous dog-day (so sorry, Ibi, cat-day) afternoon, it took just one look at the traffic on the main road to dissuade me.

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•  macet!
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• Off to the warteg instead, reducing my expenditure for the evening by about several hundred thousand.

Now it’s home again, saving my energy till Thursday, if any brave potential visitor decides to risk the work-day macet, or if not, then Saturday. So how come traffc seems to be getting worse? As Ramadan runs its ourse, Jakarta usually thins out. 

 

I asked the gals in the warteg – they were not yet busy, since I was dining before the fasting break at sun-down – and they advised me that everyone was rushing home to eat. 

Whoever, I wondered, forgot the splendid invention of packed lunches ( or luppers – if breakfast at lunch-time is brunch, then lunch at supper-time should surely be thus described?)

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Then I remembered, that sun-down gluttony which frequently marks the month of self-denial. No packed lunch could sate such greed.

Not everyone’s like that, of course!

There are many who do take self-denial literally, but there is more food eaten during the fasting month than any other time of year!

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 Good appetites galore here, despite unappetising sticky-beaks a-prowl    https://rossrightangle.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/not-fasting-how-about-a-whipping-aceh-slips-deeper-into-barbarism/

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Mind you, I had SEVEN perkadel earlier, with rice, telor puyuh AND cap cay, and all for Rp 26,500 – and that included my es teh AND a take-away of three gorengan with a couple of eggy things that resemble veggie-omelettes, for a late-night snack.

So I must be getting into the spirit of the local Festive Season!

Another Royale VIP Bus Advert – It’s Still the Warteg for Me!

I love these ads for the Jakarta Posh-Bus, as I call it. The proprietors keep sending them to me, and I am more than happy to publicise their service, which I am sure is as wonderful as the likelihood that I will ever use it is remote. —————- ————————— At 10 million for 20 people, that’s fifty bucks a breakfast, which is no doubt delicious but I think I’ll stick with my usual option, the warteg, where I eat my fill for $1.50. Admttedly the iced tea at my hang-out is not free-flow. But after all, there’s only so much a man can hold – this last opinion does not of course extend to free-flow beer. – ——  The advertisement points out that the bus will take  you on a tour of Jakarta, which my BusWay pass allows me for a neat Rp.3500. ————————————————————— However, for you affluent readers, here you are… BREAKFASTING ON ROAD WITH ROYALE VIP BUS!

Perfect for company events or simply Sillaturamih with friends. We will organized everything for you! Only 10 juta nett for 20 pax you will get city tour, snack and soft drink on board and 3 courses dinner free flow ice tea at the top restaurant in Jakarta. (maroush/anatolia/molly malones/queenshead/liquid exchange/willshire/tempayan/cacaote/etc) Contact us right now for more info 021 98792877 or email royalevipbus@gmail.com

Well Said, Sir! Some Sense on Ramadan Shut-Downs…BUT!

Well, after reminding you all of what could most kindly be described as the careless talk we once heard from the MUI’s Amidhan about Ramadan … 

Islamist ‘Scholars’ – “Don’t Complain if You’re Attacked!” 

…I am delighted to note that he has talked some good sense, according to a Tempo.com report.

Chairman of the Indonesian Ulema Council, Amidhan Shaberah, said the closure of the food stalls during Ramadan is a tradition….not related to the state. According to him, there should be no controversy over whether food stalls should be opened or closed.

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 Amidhan

 http://ramadan.tempo.co/read/news/2015/06/11/151674159/mui-buka-tutup-warung-saat-ramadan-itu-tradisi

He recognised that in some areas they will close because that’s what the people, presumably including the stall-holders, want to do. Fair enough, so long as there’s no coercion by bigot bullies, like these IslamoNazis in Makassar.

• 

• Even so, said Amidhan, in other areas stalls can still be opened because many people are still in need. “Leave it to the respective areas in accordance with tradition.”

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• It turns out that this latest discussion of the topic arose because Lukman Hakim Syaifuddin, whose tenure as Minister of Religion is a welcome change from his bigot predecessor, Suryadharma Ali, has declared that people who are not fasting should be respected.

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 Lukman

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Stalls, said Lukman, do not need to be closed for Ramadan.

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The Government, he said, does not need to make rules whether the food stalls should be closed or not. “Leave it to tradition and awareness.”

Excellent, echoing the words of the late Gus Dur on the same issue. 

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‘We Muslims should fast with respect for those not fasting.’ -A REAL Muslim scholar, the late President Gus Dur

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But even as we read this outbreak of common sense, another Tempo report reminds us that there’s a long way to go before the state takes its sticky-beak nose out of where it shouldn’t be.

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Jakarta’s SatPol PP (civic militia) have launched their annual prudery blitz on people who like to have fun! Their operation was endorsed by the capital’s Vice Governor, Djarot Saiful Hidayat.

He announced that the city would restrict the operating hours of nightclubs during Ramadan. He wouldn’t hesitate to take stern action against the owners of nightclubs that violate these rules.

Why the heck should hours of revelry be restricted? Yes, if disco music is drowning out the sermon at a nearby mosque.

But mosque loud-speakers here can hold their own against any poor DJ.  https://rossrightangle.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/mosques-above-the-law-too-sensitive-to-enforce-noise-control-and-criticism-an-outrage/  Nor do they need to comply with city rules, so we’ve seen.

But the point surely is that if people feel like praying or whatever, they can, and same with the self-denial from terrible fleshly pursuits, like singing, dancing and drinking.

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Nobody rushes out of bars to drag the passing faithful in. Nor does anybody force anyone else, least of all the devout, to stay out late having a good time.

If there’s no alternative to being self-denying, it’s not self-denial, merely sectarian coercion.

 

http://ramadan.tempo.co/read/news/2015/06/12/151674525/satpol-pp-awasi-tempat-hiburan-malam-jakarta